France, 1625: Young d'Artagnan heads to Paris to join the Musketeers but the evil cardinal has disbanded them - save 3. He meets the 3, Athos, Porthos and Aramis, and joins them on their quest to save the king and country.

A struggling actress must play the role of a detective in order to save an adorable Maltese puppy from a murderous group of Goth Thugs, a Devilish Dominatrix, and a handsome, lying doctor.

With his glory days long gone, an overweight former football player will make a bet with his close friends and visit the nearest gym for the ultimate makeover, only to discover the girl of his dreams and his true soulmate.